March 20, 2020
Today I played basketball in the pouring down rain with my 7-year-old son. Anyone who knows me well knows I don’t love to play sports and getting dirty is not necessarily in my comfort zone. However, I embraced the discomfort of the rain and pushed through my indifference with sports and enjoyed a special moment with my son. I focused on his laugher, the enjoyment on his face, and the fun of the moment. Despite being completely soaked by the time we were done, the smiles and laughter we shared relieved a great deal of tension that had building throughout the week. Often, we shy away from discomfort but during this time of social distancing and quarantines I am reminded that discomfort is not always bad or dangerous. Sometimes embracing discomfort is exactly what we need. This new pace of life; home schooling our kids, working from home or dealing with unemployment, the unknowns of the future and missing same space social interaction, is uncomfortable and at times anxiety provoking. Our feelings are valid but do not always match out current reality. Our brains need gentle reminds of our current circumstances and of the truth. Yes, there are unknowns, many of which are scary, but right now I’m playing basketball and it is fun and I let myself just be in the moment.
This new pace of life offers so many opportunities to embrace the uncomfortable and find new things to be thankful for. Who knew 10 days ago how something as simple as having enough toilet paper could create a sense of peace and gratitude? So, during this time where it feels like my life has been turned upside down, I am choosing gratitude. I am choosing to embrace things that are uncomfortable. I am choosing joy. When I feel overwhelmed by all that we’ve adjusted to in this last week I am trying to pause and remind myself of what I am thankful for in that moment. Sometimes my list includes big things but often it is the little things. I challenge myself to find gratitude in the mundane tasks…. “I’m thankful for these dishes that need to be washed because it means my children have been fed and I have access to water and soap to clean with”. It is amazing how focusing on thanksgiving instead of all that seems out of control can change our perspective and bring peace.
When it rains, we have a choice. We can focus on how upsetting, scary or uncomfortable the rain is or we can chose to play in the rain. What we decided and how we respond is fully in our hands!
Here are some practical tips on embracing the uncomfortable and adjusting our perspective with gratitude
- Make a list of all the pros of social distancing or self-quarantine, yes there are pros. Maybe it is more time with a spouse or children, maybe it affords the opportunity to complete a project you haven’t had time for or maybe it is just the break from the usual fast pace of life.
- What is most uncomfortable for you during this season of the unknown and changed pace of life? Are there healthy ways you can lean into your discomfort to embrace your present realities with joy?
- Start writing down things you are grateful for and challenge yourself to find things to be thankful for in what you are most uncomfortable with.
Leah Fellenstein, LPPC-S